Sex and the Univercity: long distance relationships

[Robert Wheatley | Lifestyle Editor]

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are interesting; it’s knowing you’re with someone, but you’re not always with someone, and for some that’s suitable, or even preferred. I have known people who have had a LDR online for years and it has worked perfectly for them, whereas others started off fine but then discovered it wasn’t working out – this was my personal experience.

My first proper relationship (I don’t count having a girlfriend when I was 10 as a relationship, if I’m honest – we once broke up over me not closing the window in a car.) was with someone from Norfolk, having met online on a game. We decided to meet up a month later and really hit it off. We were together for around nine months.

It was a good relationship, and we got along well, but distance lingered. He wanted me to visit more, and I did so when I could, but it was difficult as Norfolk wasn’t exactly cheap to travel to. University was around the corner so we talked about the lack of time we would have to see each other, and I reluctantly accepted this.

I wasn’t in agreement, especially at this point in time. In fact, I took it badly. It was the first time I cried in front of him, doing so in the emotional setting of a Wetherspoons with a family across the floor from us. Not my proudest moment. We went for a walk, he comforted me, and I tried to persuade him that we could make it work.

I told him he kept me going, which of course made him concerned about what I may do. I ask of people that they do not do what I did; do not put pressure on your partner like this. It’s unfair to them and manipulative, which I regret doing.

I digress. Were there other factors that influenced our breakup? Absolutely, but the distance was also part of it, so take the former into consideration, as long distance relationships do work for some people.

My second relationship was with a guy from America, but the difficulties in meeting up when I visited the USA made me realise the relationship didn’t work for me, and I needed physical contact. That’s not to say an LDR doesn’t have physical contact, my first one did, but perhaps we both needed a little more of it. I do recall discussing this matter in my first relationship, it felt like we were together but we were not at the same time. This is an interesting feeling that, upon reflection, I also felt in the worries and paranoia I had about the relationship.

That brings me to personality; I am a naturally clingy person, and I like attention from the person I’m with, be it physical or emotional. I am certain this, as well as my tendency to worry about things, affected my long distance relationships. I think I physically need to be with my partner at least a few times a month to quell this.

So, to conclude, long distance relationships do work, but I believe this really depends on the person. If you’re clingy and a worrier like me, perhaps a long distance relationship would work if you can meet quite often – but I’m only speaking for myself. It might work for me if meeting up is common, but as of late I have decided to dance in synchronisation with Beyoncé and remain a single lady, albeit ask them not to put a ring on it.

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