Really bad Christmas cracker jokes

Image: Pixabay

[Katie Noble | Entertainment Editor]

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!

Why are Christmas trees bad knitters? They keep losing their needles!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer!

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? He’s a fun guy to be with!

What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake.

What’s furry and minty? A polo bear.

How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.

What do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws!

What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”

Why does Santa like to work in the garden? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince-spy.

Why can’t penguins fly? Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots.

What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Games of Thrones.

Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They’re always throwing snowballs.

Do you have any terrible jokes to share? Tweet them to us @TridentMediaUK


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