Halloween: 6 Of TV and Film’s Least Convincing Monsters

[Jennie Couling | Contributor]

In every film with monsters, millions of pounds are spent on special effects, casting and sets. And what do the costume department get? £50 and someone’s gran’s sewing machine. Result? Some absolute beauties.

Martians, War of the Worlds (1953)

The end of humanity has begun. The Martians decide that, after centuries of lying dormant underground, now is the time to attack. But what weapons should they use? They put their amazingly large and advanced minds together and find the perfect solution. Desk lamps. Heat beam firing desk lamps.

Cybermen, Doctor Who

Number 2: Hey guys, what the hell is this?

Number 3: Dunno, man. Some kind of gun?

Number 1: Nah mate, it’s clearly a pogo stick.

Number 1: 4? What do you think? (No reply) 4! Ugh his cheese grater must have stopped working again.

Nancy Archer, Attack of the 50ft Woman

Oh no! A woman with power! Power to crush us all with a single foot! What should we do? She must be defeated. But how… Aha! We will over sexualise her. A mere object cannot attack us. Huzzah, another success for patriarchy.

Morlocks, The Time Traveller

It’s OAP day at the local spa and the hairdryers are out of order again.

Chewbacca, Starwars

Not going to lie, this is mostly out of jealousy. Chewbacca is a great guy. But that hair? Damn! How does he find time for that wash, set, and blow dry and to fight the evil Galactic Empire? Serious respect my hairy friend.

Flying Monkeys, Wizard of Oz

Well this isn’t even trying. Come on, that’s blatantly a child in a – wait, what? They’re- oh no. That’s just cruel. Monkeys don’t even fly.

So if you’re stuck for something to wear this Halloween – don’t worry. Sticky back plastic, cardboard boxes and imagination are all you need for this year’s most iconic costume.

#Halloween #Films #Cybermen #DRWho #TV

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